Here I am, 10pm on a wednesday. I should be writing, I should be drafting, I should be working my ass off on all my thoughts and ideas. I haven't touched a pen in so long that the thought of me losing my ability to write has crossed my mind more often than needed.
My mind is a constant whirlwind of questions, plots, plans and even though I know that I should pick up that pen and just start, I can't bring myself to do it...until now. You see, until now, I had this doubt. Doubt in myself, my abilities and my own writing. Yes, I know many writers go through this and the sad reality is, some never get out of it.
A friend once told me that doubt kills more dreams than fear ever did, it's probably a quote from an enlightened philosopher. But I always thought that doubt only killed dreams, I came to the realization that doubt just kills.
Doubt kills integrity. Doubt kills relationships. Doubt kills self-confidence. Doubt kills more than we could ever dream- should have been the phrase.
I could go and do research and try and pick apart the human mind to see where this doubt comes from, but in my opinion, doubt is fear- in a way. Doubt is the fear of failing, the fear of loosing, the fear of not ever being enough.
Fear in itself is usually associated with people being uneasy about the unknown. We have been groomed to have safety nets around us, backup plans incase plan A never works out. We haven't been taught to make plan A work, no matter what. We were never taught to have that willpower, perseverance to do what needs to be done.
I asked some of the writers on twitter for their advice on writers-block and one twitter user gave me an amazing reply- GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET THE JOB DONE.
Never doubt in yourself or your abilities and if you do doubt, rather than giving up, give just a little more of yourself. Work smarted, harder and always try and find new perspective.
Surprise yourself and kill doubt before it kills you.
You are worth it.