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No more BS.

I haven't posted in months. I haven't been on social media, haven't streamed and heaven forbid, I haven't written much. Now, I could go on and on about how terrible life has been treating me, but I'm done.

Yes, bad shit happened, but I have realized that I need to turn my focus on things that are positive. I needed to chase my dreams with one-hundred-and-ten percent determination, I need to grab life by the balls and start living.

Do I have a few new hurdles, trying to block my way? Yeah. But they're not hurdles made out of cement. So, I'm gonna kick them down.

I'm posting this, because I need everyone close to me, to know what happened.

(Yes, dear reader, you are close to me.)

I started my new job in March, with big hopes and even bigger dreams.

Things seemed great, but a series of events crippled me for a bit. I'm not going to go into detail. This is not a sappy, pity-party post. This is a; "Look this is what happened, and this is how I am moving forward" kind of post.

  1. Armed robbery in April.

  2. Miscarriage in June

  3. Witnessing one of my best friends get shot to death, and deal with the fact that I found his body and he took his last breath just a few seconds later.

So, yeah, not minor things. I have PTSD now, but instead of lying down, waiting for the next blow to come, I'm standing up. I'm getting help, because mental health has always been my number one priority. I'm positive, because I need to be. Being negative in life about every event that has somehow disabled you from doing what you truly want to do, will only attract more negativity.

Yes, Law Of Attraction. I didn't believe at first either, but I opened my mind and I pushed, I pushed so hard for something MORE, and I found it within me.

I didn't want this life full of negativity all the damn time. It's exhausting holding on to pain and drama.

Peace is easy. You just have to let go of everything, including fear.

Fear is made up.

Fear only exists in tomorrow.

There is no need for us to worry day in and day out about mundane things that we have no control over.

So, I have adapted this new way of thinking.

  1. If it doesn't give me joy or increase my livelihood, I'm yeeting it.

  2. Feel it, process it, let it go.

  3. Know your worth.

  4. Make time for your physical and mental health.

  5. Don't rush things. (If you need a nap, before you can tackle that essay, take a small nap.)

  6. Actually get things done. (No half-assing, ANYTHING.)

  7. Freedom is a choice.

  8. Enjoy every moment as if it were your last day on earth.

  9. Give love, receive love, be love.

  10. Avoid people who hurt. (Other, animals, the environment...just avoid negative people)

Ten commandments, ten ways I live by. It's not always easy, it's not supposed be easy, but its worth it. I have become the real me, and it wasn't the years of soul searching, it wasn't the trying-to-find-my-vibe-and-tribe, it was mindset.

So with a healthy mindset, a heart filled love and a brain filled with determination, I'm glad to say that I'm back.


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